I Had To Go Outside To Write This Post

 This was not the post I set out to publish today. I had spent time setting up another post, including an outline. Then I lacked inspiration to write it. Old Peggy would skip it, allowing an old record to play of her lack of follow through. 

I sent that Peggy on vacation; she needed one. 

Honestly, any post would not be written at my desk today. Outside I went, the cloud filled blue sky peeks through Grandmother Elm's branches and vibrant green leaves. A dove couple high up top coo to each other, the love and comfort between them loud and clear in their calls. 

Being outside, writing this post by hand, I've already learned something. Going slower than I would type - I expected to be frustrated. As the sunlight dances on the page, I realize this is like savoring a rare vintage. Slowing down, as the wind did just now- to taste and feel each word. Only the best comes forward, knowing this is the right time. 

Moisture is in the air, all of nature can feel it. A secret running under the eyes of humanity, an intrisict ability all life carries. Even humans. 

We've lost our touch with Nature, gone is the balance and connection, lost to time and space. 

Or is it?

A moment under Grandmother Elms' limbs, and I'm here. Present. In the moment. Words want to capture it all, but this intimate knowing can only be felt and experienced. 

It's the hottest part of the day, a time I'm rarely found outside. Yet here I am - seeing how nature dances, sings, and lives in spite of the heat. 

Live - in spite of. 

The purpose of this post...I've lost it. And that's okay. 

Maybe we both needed the reminder to live. 

Live in spite of all that's against you. 

Live because it's the most scary, intense, freeing, and joyful experience of your life. 

I'm also secretly hoping it'll start raining, so I can dance in it. It'll be the first rain of the season. 

(As of the typing of this, no rain has fallen on Peggy, much to her dismay. She promises to alert the media once this monumentous moment happens. Stay tuned!) 

I question, is this a 'good enough' post? Does it have a point? Does it repeat to much? Why do I repeat things?

And then I remember to breathe. . .breath through the emotions and thoughts. But don't hold it too long. 

My intuition speaks louder these days. Her voice the first I hear and trust now. She is a gift that cannot be thanked enough. As I follow her, listen to her, walk guided by her, I am finding parts of myself along the way. Parts that are being healed and put back. One day soon, I'll be able to see and experience my wholeness. Its timing doesn't bother me. 

As fate has perfect time and sense. 

So I lean into my intuition. I hear and live by her. Through this scary and challenging journey, I am healing. And how can I be dismayed over that, when the taste of freedom and being whole feels so damn right?